By Jordi Cabanas-Danés

When talking to PhD candidates, I often hear them comparing themselves to their peers. In most cases, these are upward comparisons (i.e. to others with a perceived better position) which jeopardize their self-esteem and motivation; and go frequently hand-in-hand with a strong feeling of being an impostor. One could of course argue that the academic environment intrinsically relays on comparisons, since it is highly competitive, demanding and to a certain extend, expects you to outperform others to succeed. However, is this really true? And most importantly, at what cost?

Research has shown that about 10% of our daily thoughts have to do with comparisons of some sort.1 Yet, I am almost certain that at some point in your life, you have been advised not to compare yourself to others. In fact, most of the YouTube content creators offering tips to prepare yourself to run a marathon do advise you to “run your own race”, meaning: Do not compare yourself to others and focus on achieving your own race goals. Nevertheless, we still seem to find some sort of comfort, structure or a “better the devil you know…” kind of sense in comparisons.

Empowering comparisons

Are comparisons always a bad thing, though? Comparing ourselves with others or with our past self can result in a direct form of feedback if done in an objective way. We can become more aware of the scales we find important to measure our behavior, skills, output and it can help us make up a plan to keep what goes well and improve what can go better. If you are open to learning and motivated for improving, you might even ask the person to whom you are comparing yourself to give you some advice or learning points you could use. We can also use comparisons as a compass to form a healthy picture of where we stand and where we want to go. So no, not all comparisons are bad and sometimes they are actually necessary to evaluate and assess our progress.

The trap

On the negative side, comparisons can feed the belief that we will never get at the same level as someone else. Especially, if someone else is doing something you enjoy, comparisons can make you hesitate doing it too, just because you want to avoid being worse at it than that someone. The key here is to remind yourself why you’re doing this in the first place (presumably cause it brings you joy), and only use the comparison if you can get something healthy out of it. In any case, not putting yourself in the comfort zone of not even trying, cause you believe the chances of being "bad" at it make it not worth it trying. There are certain frameworks and societal structures that make us feel part of a group of equals. However, without nuancing, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Each person comes with a set of experiences, environments, intrinsic skills, and yes luck too!, that make each of us unique. And even when you happen to be at the same time doing something similar, there are simply too many variables to make any honest comparison, even if you feel that the system is looking at you in this way. If you fall in this trap, you might turn your objectives into becoming a copy of the person you’re comparing yourself to.

Healthy approach

Being aware of the fact that we do compare ourselves to others is the first step towards using them to our benefit by learning from others, while becoming our unique self. To this end, it is important to also be aware that comparisons might not always be helpful and have an impact to our mental wellbeing. Then, ask yourself what are you trying to answer by comparing yourself to others and assess whether you wouldn’t be better off comparing yourself with your past self. After all, comparing ourselves to others might just be a sign of an hidden need we have, which prevents us of reaching our goals.

1. Summerville A, Roese NJ. Dare to Compare: Fact-Based versus Simulation-Based Comparison in Daily Life. J Exp Soc Psychol. 2008 May;44(3):664-671.

    Do you recognize yourself in this article? The PhD advisors are here for you. Get in touch with us for a consultation (phdadvisor@amsterdamumc.nl).