By Jordi Cabanas-Danés

Recently, I watched a VR movie depicting a 70-year-old patient's post-surgery journey in a hospital. The first-person perspective required the patient (the VR viewer) to be accompanied by a family member. In the movie, a young person took the role of arranging hospital appointments, interacting with the doctors and asking questions. That got me thinking about how often many people must go through such situations alone. This is, of course, considering that they have access to healthcare in the first place. In any case, such experiences might make it obvious that in the modern world, more and more people feel isolated and lack quality connections in their lives. Loneliness, being a feeling and not a condition, can overcome anyone, irrespective of lack of or constant company. The question then arises: are PhD candidates more susceptible to loneliness than their same-age peers in other environments? And, most importantly, what can we do if we find ourselves feeling lonely?

Is PhD loneliness a thing?

In The Netherlands alone, almost a third (32%) of the Dutch population aged 15 and over reported experiencing some loneliness in 2021, and 11% said they experienced severe loneliness. These two groups together were 8% larger than in 2019. The age group 15-25 reported severe feelings of emotional loneliness (building intimate relationships). In contrast, the 45-44 year-old group experienced a dominance of strong social loneliness (the need for more social contact).1 These numbers seem to reinforce the title of loneliness as a silent pandemic. However, does that mean that other demographics do not experience loneliness? Certainly not. In fact, the experience of a PhD trajectory might make loneliness more pronounced or distinctive than in other groups of society. Doctoral research requires long hours of solitary work, intense intellectual focus, and the pressure to make significant contributions to the field or generate specific scientific output. Let alone if you have moved across countries to pursue your PhD and started a new life with little to no social networks at hand. Additionally, your PhD project and its associated challenges are yours to solve. While you might have a fantastic supervisory team and colleague for support, when it comes to the deeper aspects of the trajectory, no one else is there to make decisions for you. Finally, the competitive nature of academia may further foster an environment where personal and social connections are limited or incomplete. So we can safely say that a PhD trajectory does include many of the ingredients of the loneliness recipe.

The vicious circle

Is loneliness a bad thing? Well, in a way, it’s just another biological alarm, so not necessarily. Similar to when your body needs nutrients, you become hungry; when you have certain social needs, you might feel lonely. This makes evolutionary sense if we consider of our ancestors relying on each other for finding food, provide care and protection.
Even though our survival depends less and less on others to a certain extent, and we tend to isolate ourselves in small groups more, loneliness remains prevalent. It’s essential to clarify that feeling lonely and being alone is not the same. Loneliness is about isolation and has nothing to do with your communication skills or whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. It’s about feeling connected and the quality of your connections.
So far, so good. The problem is when loneliness becomes chronic, transforming into one of the most unhealthy types of stress. Loneliness has been associated with certain (mental) health conditions, negative lifestyle habits, and the isolation vicious circle might hinder individuals with severe loneliness from seeking help. In fact, loneliness has been reported to be more deadly than obesity and as deadly as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.2 Severe
chronic loneliness might even turn into a spiral of social isolation, leading to an increased negative perception about oneself and social interactions, accompanied by an increased fear for rejection. This situation might result into a negative feedback loop with the power to impact cognitive and emotional dimensions. Indeed, some reports suggest chronical loneliness impacting cognitive patterns associated with interpreting neutral social queues as negative. Do you see yourself in this picture? Try to recognize the cycle you may be in; it is a
normal feeling and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

The path towards connection

If your work nature requires isolation, find ways to completely relax for an extended period. Not just small breaks here and there, but try to dedicate at least a full day a week to relax and recharge. Minimizing work stress is essential to avoid fueling feelings of loneliness. Additionally, consider dedicating part of your free time to (re)connect with friends and family, thereby keeping loneliness under control.
Maximize opportunities to build connections; push yourself to be with others and continue doing so. Understand that we all have a biological need for connection, so if you consistently surround yourself with others, connections will naturally happen.
Embrace the sense of community. For example, when sitting in a train, realize that you are no different than your travel companions. We all, with our flaws, problems and dreams, are striving to connect and belong. Talk about feeling lonely. Why is it that we are more willing to express anger or happiness? Be vulnerable and share how you feel with others. None of this will change how great of a person you are.
Finally, establishing a connection involves at least to people, sure, but don’t wait to be asked to do something. Take the initiative and make that call, send that message or propose doing that something together. Remind yourself that the path towards connections is a universal one not meant to followed alone.

1. 2021 Social cohesion & Well-being survey. CBS.

2. Holt-Lunstad, J., Robles, T. F., & Sbarra, D. A. (2017). Advancing social connection as a public health priority in the United States. American Psychologist, 72(6), 517–530. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000103

Do you recognize yourself in this article? The PhD advisors are here for you. Get in touch with us for a consultation (phdadvisor@amsterdamumc.nl).